Love isn't always love
by Tarja Holopainen
Summary: Someday after "The Pen Pal". After a very special moment between CC and Niles, CC disappears and Niles finds something out ... 4 chapters. Ignore my not perfect English. First chapter rating M.
1. The secret is growing

SOMEDAY AFTER "THE PEN PAL"

Warning: Prepare for intense stuff.

Nothing of The Nanny belongs to me, even if I kinda mixed season three and four (not bad, you'll know what I mean).

I had this idea a few weeks ago and I liked it.

This is a short but intense story.

My English is not perfect btw, but please enjoy.

* * *

CHAPTER ONE

It was a normal afternoon in the middle of August.

Fran Fine had spent her day with fawning after Maxwell Sheffield, pretending to listen to her mother, and, of course, looking after the children.

Maxwell himself had spent his day with giving annoyed answers to Fran, avoided to talk with CC Babcock about personal things, and ordering Niles around.

Niles Brightmore had spent his day with cooking, serving, pretending to dust the house, schmoozing with Fran and making CC's life to a living hell.

And, last but not least, CC Babcock had spent her day with hitting on Maxwell, eating her frustations away, yelling at people on the telephone, firing old people, hiring new people, reading scripts, trying to ignore Niles and how much his insults hurted her, insulting him back, etc. etc. etc. ...

But the day after this very normal day, turned out to be the most terrible time for all four of them, especially for Niles and CC ...

* * *

It all started when CC didn't come to work the day after. She didn't phone Maxwell about her absence and she didn't answer the phonecalls of Maxwell.

"Niles, has CC phoned yet?", he asked his butler at lunch time, when this one came in and put the tablet with Maxwell's food down on his desk.

"I'm very sorry Sir, but the witch hasn't called since you tried to reach her. If you want to know my opinion -"

Maxwell sighted. He really didn't want to hear Niles' opinion, but his butler just kept talking.

"Well, my opinion is, as she rode on her broom today, a squall caught her and carried her away. That, or a plane hit her."

"I should have known, you aren't concerned", Maxwell said bitterly.

"Why should I", Niles answered, almost as bitterly as the producer. "I can tell you where she is, she went out yesterday, drank too much and now is lying in her bed, not able to stand up, talk, or even to think, wishing she could just die. Well, at least that's something she's used to."

Maxwell ignored Niles and started eating. If he would have paid attetion to him, he would have noticed the briefcase, that Niles pulled out under the green sofa.

_Perfect, Miss Babcock's briefcase_, Niles thought. _And Mr. Sheffield didn't notice that I found it._

With that thought, he quickly stormed out of the office, carrying the briefcase up to his room, not knowing his life would be going to change very soon.

* * *

_It's so dark. Where am I?_

_Ouch ... my head hurts._

_And my wrists. And my feet. And ... my whole body._

_Is this a dream? This feels so real ... _

_I'm feeling so weak ..._

_I can't talk or scream._

_I can't even open my mouth._

_Huh?_

_Somebody gagged me?_

_Oh my god, I can't move!_

_Somebody chained me!_

_Niles?_

_No, he wouldn't do that, no matter how much he hates me. At least he wouldn't lock me in a dark room. He would chain me, but then lock me in a light room, maybe to do dirty things to me ... _

_Not even he can be _that _hartless to lock me in a dark room. Or ...?_

_Is this a prank?_

_No, not after ... that night_

_I must have gotten kidnapped._

_Oh my god._

* * *

Niles knew that sneaking into another person's computer was forbidden, but as he pulled out CC's laptop, he had the feeling, he should do it. It was not a feeling as usual, a feeling that told him what to do to play a prank on her, but a feeling, he had never felt yet.

So he switched on the laptop and instantly landed on a page she had opened recently. It was a kind of a blog, and Niles found that amusing.

_The witch is sharing her thougts. How cheap._

He soon discovered that she was still online, so he thought about posting something silly to embarass her.

But he didn't even get that far.

As he scrolled down her profile, laughing about the very edited photos of herself (but still admiring her beauty), he found several posts, saved as drafts.

His breath stucked as he read them.

_"July third, _

_I finally discovered what is wrong with me. Now I want to die."_

"What?"

_"July fifth,_

_He is so mean to me. I want to die ... "_

_"July seventh,_

_Today he was nice to me ... then he told me again I deserve to die. Believe me, I want to ..."_

_"July tenth,_

_I was at the doctor today. Everything is fine ... "_

_"July eleventh_

_I can't tell anyone, not even Dr. Bort ... this is my little secret."_

"That she's a man?" _No, stop it, you know perfectly, she isn't ..._

_"July twenty-third,_

_The secret grows ... soon I will just run away."_

_"August fourth,_

_He called me fat today. If he only knew ..."_

"If I only know ... what?"

_"August fifth,_

_I can tell he regrets what happened between us ... well, I do too."_

_"August ninth,_

_We are fighting ... and everytime I have to hold back tears ..."_

"What ...?"

_"August fourteenth,_

_This is it. I'm gonna end it."_

Niles hadn't noticed the tears in his eyes.

His head was hurting, his knees were shaking.

He had to lay down, as he remembered the night after the kiss in the den ...

_CC nibbled at his earlobe. "Niles", she groaned. "As long as Maxwell and Nanny Fine are out, you can do with me what you want ... I am drunk and I really don't care about what happens at the moment. So I wouldn't care if you want to take advantage of me ..."_

_Niles pulled her closer and stroked his hands over her back, down to her butt. He cupped her ass and she silently moaned into his ear._

_"Do you want?", she whispered and caressed his cheek and jaw with her lips._

_"I want to hear it from you first", he said with a husky voice._

_CC moved back to his ear._

_"You can take me", she breathed in it and he lifted her up. "No ... take me. Please", she whispered and wrapped her legs around his middle as he carried her up to his room._

_The moment the door closed, CC pulled off his blazer and ripped open his shirt._

_He turned her around, kissing her neck and throat and shoulder. She laid her head on the side to give him more access to kiss and nip on her shoulder._

_CC moaned loudly._

_It had been so long ..._

_Finally he pulled down the zipper of her dress and it fell down. He held his breath as he saw, that she wasn't wearing a bra. How could he have ever been able to refuse her?_

_He put his arms around her, laying his hands softly on her stomach and caressing it._

_He was surprised how soft her skin was._

_But suddenly CC took his hands and led them slowly up, letting him cup her breasts._

_Niles had to close his eyes and try not to think about the fact, he was touching a very naked CC Babcock. He was longing to touch her since he could think about it._

_She turned around and while he still held his breath, looking at that perfect body of hers, she undressed him completely._

_After she did, she let fall down her panty and kissed him again with passion and desire, affectionately and fondly, longing and begging. She nipped at his bottom lip, licked over his lips, caressing his tongue with hers, after he let her enter, while her hands were all over his back, stroking his neck, moving her fingers through his hair, pressing his face on hers, so he could not escape ..._

_She was a perfect kisser, and he could not await to explore, if she was an even better lover._

_Just her kisses made Niles losing his control, soon he felt himself twitch, and he knew, she could feel it too._

_He felt her smirk while she kissed his jaw, moving to his ear again and breathing into it. _

_"Do you want me?", she asked, her voice sounding almost desperate._

_Niles cupped her ass again. "Yes", he said roughly and she jumped on him, wrapping her legs around his pelvis._

_Slowly she lowered herself, helping him to enter her._

_As he was in her she began to move up and down, capturing his mouth with hers. They were not really kissing, they just had their mouths on the other's, breathing and moaning silently into the other's._

_She rode him gently, but when he felt the sensation grow, he moved to the bed and laid her down, placing himself on her, but never leaving her._

_He thrusted into her and she cried his name, which made him thrust faster and harder. She began to breath faster and crying his name louder._

_She dug her nails into his back and left a scratch on it. Niles groaned and pressed a long kiss on her mouth._

_When he left her lips, he threw his head back and cried out a loud "Miss Babcock"._

_CC let out a sultry laugh. _

_Niles tried to think about something that could prevent him from reaching the peak, but with that goddess under him, with a laugh that had always turned him on, it was hard to do so._

_He kept thrusting into her, but this time he only did it faster. When she moaned and breathed his name without a single interruption, he caressed her breasts with his hands and covering her throat with sweet little kisses and nips._

_When she let out a long and high pitched "Oh, Niiiiiles", he let himself go as well, also crying out her name, this time "CC"._

They had spent the rest of the night with cuddling, petting and anew sex, but the day after that night, they pretended as it never had happened ...

During the night, Niles had been hoping that this was the final step for CC, and they were together now, but she had left once he was asleep. And this was, why he had been mean to her the next day, because she had hurted him with her flight.

He had wanted her to wake up next to her ... look at her, smile at her, kiss her. But he had waken up alone. And he didn't even had the time to tell her that he loved her.

Niles wiped his arm over his eyes and read her drafts a second time.

For him it was sure, she was talking about him, when she wrote "_He is so mean to me_":

His heart clenched at "_I want to die_":

And his heart almost stopped at "_I can tell he regrets what happened between us ... well, I do too_".

"No, Miss Babcock", he whispered. "I don't regret it. This was the best night in my life ... the only thing I regret is, that I pretended nothing happed the day after. And I really, really regret, I didn't tell you that I love you ..."

He read the drafts a third time.

"I finally discovered what is wrong with me", he whispered. _What is wrong with her?_

"I was at the doctor today. Everything is fine ..." _Everything is fine, and she still wants to die? What?_

"I can't tell anyone, not even Dr. Bort ... this is my little secret ... The secret grows ... soon I will just run away ... He called me fat today. If he only knew ..."

Niles gasped.

Was this possible, could she be-?!

_It could be possible. We had lots of sex in that night a few weeks ago. And then she writes something is wrong with her ... but everything is fine. She almost starts crying everytime we fought, She has a secret and it _grows! _She is going to be fat ..._

"This is it. I'm gonna end it", Niles read the last sentence and looked up.

_Oh my god._

_I have to find her._


	2. I need you

I hope you like the new chapter *.*

Ignore my not perfect English, I try my best xo

* * *

**CHAPTER TWO**

"Such a pretty little thing ..."

CC opened her eyes when she heard a voice. It was still dark.

"Don't touch her, she's mine", another voice said, a very familiar voice.

Soon after this short dialogue, CC felt someone stroking her cheek. "How do you feel, CC?", the second voice asked her.

CC tried to answer, tried to yell, tried to cry, but she couldn't move.

"You know, she can't answer", the first voice said.

"Yes, I know", the second voice said with a chuckle. "And she can't move, and she can't see anything."

_Who are you?_, CC thought desperately. _Let go!_

But one thing was sure, it wasn't Niles. She would have noticed his voice immediately.

She had tears in her eyes as she felt the man undress and touching her.

She missed Niles, she missed his touches his voice, his zingers, she missed his kisses. She missed his eyes and how he secretly looked at her, thinking, she wouldn't notice.

She couldn't defend herself, so she just imagined it was Niles, who was kissing and touching her at the moment.

But then the man did something, Niles would never do to her, not in a million years.

* * *

Niles entered the penthouse with the key he had stolen from Mr. Sheffield.

"Miss Babcock?", he called. "Listen, I'll come in now!" He waited, but nobody did answer. "Miss Babcock, Mr. Sheffield said you can stay at home today", he said loudly and closed the door behind him, "but the two of us really, _really _have to talk ..."

When he took a few steps forward to her living room, he suddenly heard a loud noise and the next thing he saw, was a pomenarian that flew on him, almost throwing him down to the floor.

"Chester!", Niles said. "Where's your mistress, hm?"

Chester licked his face and whimpered. Niles fed Chester and while the dog was eating, he walked up to the bedroom and knocked.

"Miss Babcock!", he called anew. "It's me, Niles. We have to talk, I know what - uhm - I did to you ... are you in there?"

_Please say something ... dear lord, please let her be alive ..._

But she didn't answer.

Niles took a breath and opened the door. He had thought he would find an asleep or dead Miss Babcock (he had prayed that he wouldn't find the last one), but he hadn't thought that the room was empty.

"Where are you ...", he whispered and sunk to the floor, covering his face with his hands. "Miss Babcock ... please, _please _don't leave me ... understand that I need you ... that I love you."

* * *

After Niles had asked a few neighbours and the doorman about CC, he took Chester out for a walk.

None of the neighbours had seen her since a few days, and the doorman had seen her today morning for the last time, leaving for work as always.

He couldn't tell him, where she got into a taxi, but he could tell him, she didn't after she left the block.

Niles walked with Chester over every bridge that was near, always looking down in the water, expecting to find a tall blonde in black and beige somewhere lying down there, lips blue, face pale and eyes dead.

He just couldn't forget the last sentence in the drafts ...

_This is it. I'm gonna end it._

"It's my fault, Chester", he said after he sat down on a bench in Central Park and stroked Chester's head who cuddled into his lap. "You have so many reasons to hate me", he kept talking. "I kinda killed your mistress ..."

_No, you didn't kill her_, he told himself. _You just got her pregnant ... if she really is. It's not for sure ..._

He walked with Chester until the sun set, then he took a taxi and drove to the penthouse, hoping, she was there ..,

She wasn't, but the light of the answering machine was blinking and wouldn't stop.

Niles sighted and pressed play. Soon Maxwell's voice filled the room.

_"CC, where are you?"_

_"CC, are you still sleeping? Niles said, you've been drinking ... if you are - uhm - ill, please tell me, I'll give you a day off ... okay, bye."_

_"Where are you? I'm very worried, please call back."_

_"CC, it's two o'clock now. You can't sleep so long! Call me."_

_"Niles is on the way, so if you are in trouble, don't worry. He is as concerned as me."_

_"CC? CALL BACK! This is NOT funny!"_

_"Niles, are you there?"_

_"Niles, we are waiting for you. Did you find her?"_

The machine clicked and it was over.

Niles looked around the room and watched Chester yawn and lie down, closing his eyes and falling asleep.

At this moment, Niles wished to be a dog. He would understand, that something was different, but he would not understand, what exactely was different. That the love of his life was gone. That the love of his life had killed herself, because she was pregnant ... from him.

Niles let out a broken hearted sob and after that, he wasn't able to hold back the tears anymore.

Now he was laying on CC's sofa and crying her name in her pillows, that had her scent.

He cried and cried until he couldn't anymore, but then he was completely exhausted. He just wanted to sleep ... and he did, but he laid down in her bed. He fell asleep, her scent all over him ...

In the middle of the night he woke up when he heard the phone ringing. He jumped out of the bed, ran to the phone and picked it up.

He heard a very stressed "Nuy-eeels?", whining in the phone.

"Yes, Miss Fine, it's me."

"Oh mah god, Niles!", Fran cried and let out a sob. "They - they - f - found her! Y - you have to c - come to the hos - hospital! Le - Lenox Hill!"

"Miss Fine!", Niles said loudly. "Does that mean, she's alive?"

"Y - yes", Fran sobbed. "Bu - but shes hu - hurt ...!"

Niles hung up and left the penthouse without waiting.

* * *

It was almost three in the morning, when the doctors let him see her. He had met Maxwell and Fran in the hospital, but after the doctor had told them CC was going to be okay, the other two had left.

Niles stayed.

And finally they were finished with making several tests and inspecting her and even suturing parts of her together, as he'd been told.

And Niles could see her.

He stepped into the room and tried not to break down at the sight.

Her face, arms and legs were covered with bruises and scars and she was hanging on a respitator.

"Do you want to sit down?", a nurse asked and Niles nodded.

The young nurse quickly pulled a chair next to the bed and led Niled to it. "You look pale", she said. "Do you want some water?"

Niles shook his head. "May I touch her?"

"She's asleep", the nurse told him. "Be careful."

Niles laid his hand on hers and looked at her face. The bags under her eyes were giant.

He lowered his head down to hers and whispered in her ear:

"Miss Babcock, I just wanted to tell you how happy I am that you are here", he whisperd. "I've been searching for you all day, but I gess, it works much quicker on your broom ..."

He melted when he saw her smiling lightly. She was firmly asleep, but maybe she had heard him in her dreams ...

"I'm leaving you and your wife alone for a few minutes", the nurse said and left the room.

"Looks like we're married", Niles said and his heart almost bursted with the wish of being married to her in real. "I think Fran told them I'm your husband, so I was able to see you this night", he continued.

His eyes moved down her body and rested on her tummy. There was a visible bulge he wouldn't had realized, if he hadn't known ...

He laid his hand on it and stroked it gently.

"You'll be okay", he said, more to himself than to her. "And we'll be okay as well ..."

A few minutes he just held her hand with his one and caressing her tummy with the other hand, until the young nurse came in again. "I'm sorry for kicking you out, Mr. Babcock, but the visitor time is long over. This was just a exception, but this is the reason why you only could see her for a few minutes. Come back later and you can stay the whole day."

Niles nodded, kissed CC on her forehead and left the room after the nurse.

"Miss, I have a question", Niles began and the nurse turned around.

"Yes?", she said.

"Uhm, what happened to her?"

The nurse lifted her shoulders up "I'm afraid I can't tell. The tests are done, but the results aren't there already. She was gone for a day and has suspicious bruises, so doctor Hastings decided to test her if she got raped ..."

"Raped", Niles repeatd weakly. "Oh my god ..."

The nurse nodded. "I'm very sorry, Mr. Babcock."

"But miss ... she's pregnant!", Niles said quietly.

The nurse's eyes grew wide. "I'll tell doctor Hastings right now!", she promised and laid her hand softly on Niles' shoulder. "I'm very sorry", she said again. "Your wife is okay. If you come back later, we'll tell you more ..."

Niles thanked the nurse and slowly left the hospital.

Raped ...


	3. A woman knows

CHAPTER THREE

* * *

Niles couldn't sleep. His thoughts were at CC and what happened to her. Was it really possible that she got raped? Who would do that? And why?

_I hope her baby is okay ... my baby ... _our _baby ..._

His heart clenched. _Her baby is also my baby._

_We're going to be a family ..._

He prayed that she and the unborn child were okay.

And he promised himself to give CC everything she wanted.

"I'll tell her that I love her", he said and finally he was able to sleep.

But not for long.

At six o´clock his alarm buzzed and he had to wake up, after three hours of sleep.

He took a quick shower and headed downstairs, where the family was already sitting around the table. They didn't eat, they just sat there and said nothing.

"Good morning", Niles said quietly.

Fran lifted her head and looked at him, her eyes tired and sad. "How is she?" she asked.

Niles looked at the children. He didn't want to tell Fran and Maxwell in front of them. So he just shrugged. "She's not okay, but she will be", he answered.

Fran let out a quiet sob.

"I'll visit her later", Niles told them. "May I, Mr. Sheffield?"

"Of course", Maxwell said quietly. He was sqeezing Grace's hand, who's eyes were red and wet.

"I'll be gone all day", Niles said and Maxwell nodded, telling him, it was okay for him.

"Where did they find her?", Maggie suddenly asked.

"I know nothing, Miss Margaret", Niles said. "But I'll tell you in the evening."

"I'll come with you", Grace sniffed, but Niles, Fran and Maxwell shook their heads.

"We'll visit her in the afternoon", Fran promised the children.

* * *

"Mr. Babcock!", the young nurse said as she saw him. "I've been waiting for you already!"

"How is she, miss?", Niles asked quietly.

"Call me Linda", the nurse said. "And your wife is fine, but there's another problem -"

"The baby?!", Niles interrupted her.

Linda shook her head. "The baby is fine too", she said and then she turned around an shouted "Dr. Hastings!" in CC's room.

The doctor came out and shook Niles' hand.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Babcock", he said. "Linda has told me your wife is pregnant. I've made several tests, and the baby is fine and will be fine." He smiled. "Your wife is strong and so will be your baby."

"And what happened to her?", Niles asked and the doctor sighted.

"As I already thought ... she got kidnapped and raped."

Niles felt as he would fall into a deep hole without an end.

Who would kidnap a pregnant woman and rape her?

Who would kidnap and rape _CC Babcock?_

"Can she remember who -?", Niles asked soundlessly.

"So we'll come to the problem", the doctor said and let Niles sit down. "She probably hit her head and now she has kind of amnesia - she can't rembember what happend the last two months. She woke up today and thought it was June."

Niles couldn't escape out of his hole.

So for her the night had never happened.

She didn't know they slept together.

"Does she know, she's pregnant?", Niles asked low.

"Not yet", the doctor said lowly. "But don't tell her what happened the last two months. She has to find it out for herself. That's important."

Niles nodded.

His hope was gone. She had forgotten their night.

They couldn't be happy. Not together.

_I can't tell her now, I love her_, Niles thought.

"You can go in now", Dr. Hastings said and Linda helped Niles up, letting him lean against her.

"You can eat or drink something whenever you want", she told him and led him into CC's room.

"Can I be alone with her?", he whispered and Linda nodded, closing the door behind her.

Niles walked to her bed and looked down to her.

She was breathing slowly and her face was painfully distorted, but she was breathing without help. Her bruises still looked very bad.

He sat down on the edge of her bed and she opened her eyes.

They widened as she saw him.

"What are _you _doing here?" She sounded unhappy.

His heart almost broke. "I heard a witch crushed into a plane and fell", he answered. "I knew it was you, so I wanted to tell you, that your broom didn't survive."

CC rolled her eyes and looked at him. "What happened to me?"

"I don't know", Niles lied. "They can't tell."

"Probably I got attacked", she said. "I have no bag anywhere, they must have stolen it ... Niles, good you're here. Could you do me a favour?"

_I would jump into a volcano, if you'd ask me to._

"Sure."

"Could you go into my penthouse and pick up a few things for me?"

"I'm afraid your cauldron is a bit too big for the taxi, but I'll pick up your crystal ball, okay?"

CC rolled her eyes again. "No, not that. I meant books and stuff like that."

"Your collection of herbs?", Niles suggested.

"No", CC said. "But books and clothes, a toothbrush, uhm, a hairbrush, make up and my laptop." Niles' eyes widened, but he nodded.

"And a few tampons", she ended.

_You won't need them_, Niles thought, but nodded again.

"Oh, forget the tampons", CC suddenly said, and, as if she had read his mind, "I won't need them."

Niles' eyes got bigger and she laughed.

"Uh, yes", she said and her look got soft. "Niles, I'm pregnant."

"I know", Niles said. "But how do y_ou _know?"

"Don't be silly, dust buster", CC said. "A woman knows when she's pregnant." She gently stroked her tummy.

Niles wished he could do it too.

"How do you know?", she asked.

"You told me a few days ago", Niles lied.

"Oh yeah, the amnesia", CC said and laid back. "Tell me what happened the last two months."

"I can't", Niles said. "You have to think about it for yourself." _Please remember the kiss and our night ..._

CC pouted. "Okay", she said. "So you'll go and pick up the things, and I'll think about the last two months."

"Okay, I'll pick up your cloak and your magic hat ...", Niles murmured and he left the room.

CC hadn't even ask about the father of her child ...

* * *

Niles picked up a few books, a few clothes, her toothbrush and hairbrush, mascara and lipstick and of course Chester from the penthouse. Then he drove back to the mansion to leave Chester there and pick up the laptop.

Before he entered CC's room again, he switched on the laptop and deleted all the drafts that had changed his life.

Then he entered it and froze.

Fran was sitting next to CC and talking to her.

Niles got pale - did Fran know, that she got raped? About her amnesia?

And did CC know that Fran didn't know about her pregnancy?

Niles slowly went to the women.

"Oh, rubber duck brought my things", CC said happily. "I owe you a big thank you."

"No problem", Niles said and sat down next to her.

"Nanny Fine visited me, I'm still flattered", CC said and laughed her famous laugh.

"Why wouldn't I?", Fran asked. "I was really concerned 'bout ya, but I'm happy that ya are okay. Well, I have to go now, I promised Gracie to pick her up from school."

Fran stood up, but CC grabbed her wrist. "Nanny Fine, Niles", she said. "When I was alone, a nurse came in ..." CC looked up. "She told me, my husband, Mr. Babcock, will come and visit me soon. I pretended to know what she was talking about, but I have no idea. Please tell me", she begged. "Who is he? Since when and to who am I married? I mean - it sounds plausible ..."

She lowered her hand to her belly, but Niles quickly grabbed it to stop it from touching the small bulge. He shook his head softly.

Fran looked puzzled. "Miss Babcock, you aren't married!"

CC got pale and she looked at Niles.

"Calm down", he said with a light smile. "I am Mr. Babcock. Otherwise I wouldn't have been able to see her this night." But suddenly his smile froze. "I thought you told them I was her husband, Miss Fine!"

Fran shook her head. "I didn't! And Mr. Sheffield also didn't!"

"But why do they think, we're married?", Niles asked and softly looked at CC's face.

Fran smiled. _Why, because the two of you have something special between each other_, she though. _Oh, Niles, how ya look at her ... how you hold her hand - oy, please don't tell me, ya feel something for her. She's not the right woman for you ... _

"Pretend it's real", Fran told them. "I've gotta go now, bye."

She left the room quickly.

CC looked after her and then her eyes rested on Niles. "I don't understand anything", she said, sounding calm.

"Oh, something new", Niles said sarcastically.

"Shut up", CC hissed and took her hand out of his. She noticed that her heart was racing an her skin was burning, longing for another touch from him. "Tell me, why didn't you let me touch my belly?"

"Fran doesn't know yet, you're pregnant."

"Okay", CC nodded in unterstanding. "And now tell me, why I'm pregnant. I'm not married. Do I have a boyfriend?"

"No", Niles said quietly.

Tears were building up in CC's eyes. "You mean - I had a one-night-stand and now I'm pregnant?"

Niles pressed his lips together and nodded lightly.

"Oh god", CC groaned and covered her face with her palms.

_My love_, Niles thought as he stroked her head gently. _I wish I could tell you, that you aren't just a one-night-stand for me. I wish I could tell you right now, that I love you. But I can't._

"You know who it is?", CC asked him between her hands.

"I have a guess", Niles said quietly.

"Tell me."

"I'm not allowed to. You have to figure it out for yourself."

"You know", CC put down her hands. "I was thinking about the last two months. And I can remember something."

Niles' heart jumped. "Yes?"

"Darkness", CC whispered. "Fear. Pain."

Niles frowned. She was talking about the rape.

CC looked up to him. "They kidnapped me", she said. "They chained me, they touched me. They hurted me. They ..."

Niles nodded.

"They raped me?", CC whispered and laid back. "Is this how I got pregnant?"

Niles smiled at her. "No", he said. "You got - uhm, raped - yesterday."

CC got more pale. "This happened yesterday?"

Niles nodded. "You probably can't feel anything, 'cause you're on painkillers. But if you did, you'd die. Look at you, you're covered with bruises ..."

"Okay", CC said. "Okay. So they raped me when I was already pregnant?"

"Since it happened yesterday, I dare to say yes", Niles said and rolled his eyes.

"And who is the father?", CC tried again.

"I won't tell you", Niles chuckled.

"And if I guess right?"

"Then I'll tell you", he promised.

CC smiled and took Niles' hand.

"Are you the father?", she whispered.

Niles' jaw dropped and he stared at her.

"Are you?", she asked and pulled him down at his collar, touching his nose with hers.

He didn't answer, he just kissed her lightly, his lips brushing softly over hers and moving gently with her lips.

When they stopped, CC's cheeks were red and her eyes wet.

"Are you?", she whispered against his lips.

"Yes", he breathed and CC smiled.

"Thank god", she sighted and then she pressed her lips against his again and kissed him passionately.

Niles laid down next to her, wrapped his arm around her, and kissed her back, putting all his love and desire into the kiss. They kissed minutes, just stopping a few times to catch for air and looking and smiling at each other. "I remember that", CC mumbled and locked their lips anew.

After minutes they stopped again, and CC smiled at him broadly. "I can remember", she said. "All of it. The kiss in the den and what happened after it. Everything."

Niles ebraced her and held her tight to his body. "Thank god", he breathed against her ear, repeating her words from before.

They stayed in their tight embrace, just feeling the sensation of their entwined bodies.

Soon CC's breathing got slower and Niles felt her relaxing in his arms.

She was asleep.

Niles closed his eyes too and searched her ear with his lips.

"I love you", he said quietly.

"I love you too", CC whispered back.


	4. Changes

**CHAPTER FOUR (THE LAST)**

**You'll maybe recognize a little parallel univese-thing ... ;)**

**Pleeeease review :)**

* * *

The next three days Niles just left her for the night. He was the first visitor in the morning and the last who left in the evening. CC now knew everything again that happened the last two months, it was, as if she never have had this short amnesia.

But the doctors still wanted to keep her for a few days. They made plenty of tests and sent her to a therapy in the hospital, where she could talk about her "experience".

Niles knew that she just played tough, and that what they had done to her hurted her more as she let show.

Most of the day they went for a walk outside in the hospital part, and CC always was clenching on his arm, afraid of getting kidnapped again. And she let herself just touch from doctors in his presence.

But after the fourth day he had noticed, it didn't care how much she trusted him, she was afraid of him as well:

They were laying in the hospital bed and kissing, when Niles began to kiss and nip her neck, his hands travelling from her hips up to her breasts.

He didn't want more, he just wanted to feel and caress them, but she let out a short shriek and pushed him away, staring at him in panic. When she realized he wanted to touch her because he loved her, her look softened and she leaned into the kiss again, but he didn't dare to move his hands from her hips anymore.

Later that day Maxwell came over and informed CC about the backer's party.

"She will not go anywhere", Niles insisted and wrapped his arms around her, squeezing her.

"Honey, be careful, the baby", CC said, but kissed him on the cheek while he stopped squeezing her.

Maxwell let out a noise that sounded like "tsktsktsk" while he tried to look everywhere but not at them. After fifteen years of watching them despising each other, it looked so odd seeing them hugging, kissing, being nice to each other. And first of all being pregnant together.

"CC, I need you for this party", Maxwell begged.

"No, Maxwell!", CC said. "Do I look as if I could go on a party?"

"Finally she learned to say no to Mr. Sheffield", Niles smiled.

"Idiot", CC said softly and brushed Niles' lips lightly.

"I love you too", Niles said and pecked her lips.

"Guys", Maxwell rolled his eyes and they looked up. "I'm very happy for you", he told them. "But I need your answer now, CC, how can Miss Fine schmooze the backers?"

"Well, let her dress as slutty as ever and let her just flirt with them. You'll see, we'll have more backers as usual."

"Why did you never dress slutty?", Niles suddenly ask.

CC sighted. "Because there was just one man I wanted to impress, and I didn't want him thinking of me as a slut. He should love me the way I was."

"He always did and he will do forever", Niles whispered, overwhelmed about her explaination.

CC smiled and looked at Maxwell again. "Something else?"

Maxwell shook his head. _How could I've ever been so blind?_, he thought. _CC and Niles always loved each other, but they hid it. Why? They are perfect together ..._

The lovebirds locked into a heatened kiss again and Maxwell left the room.

He had to get ready for the party ...

* * *

Maxwell looked over the heads and smiled satisfied. Miss Fine schmoozed the backers perfectly and Niles did a better job as usual.

They had already won lots of new backers, because of Miss Fine and CC. They surely had heard about her and most of them were concerned about her.

It was almost ten when Maxwell went out the back door to phone CC, as he heard a voice.

"You had one job, Pietro, _one job! _And you screwed it!"

The man was phoning and Maxwell already wanted to go in again, as his name fell.

"I'm at the party of Maxwell Sheffield, you know, fifty per cent of Sheffield-Babcock productions. Yes, Pietro. _This _Babcock."

A pause.

"Exactely." The man let out a laugh. "She's still alive."

Maxwell held his breath.

"You simply hit her head? You didn't throw her in the river? You idiot!"

Another pause.

"Yeah, I'll visit her in the hospital to end it."

Maxwell quickly went in again, before the man could see her. He went behind the kitchen counter and poured himself a whiskey.

So, CC's kidnapper was at is party.

Maxwell waited and when the man came in, he nodded at him, the man nodded back.

Chandler Evans, that was his name.

He had raped CC.

* * *

"Chandler Evans", CC whispered. "Of course I know him. He sends me flowers and cards ... tells me, how beautiful I am ... but I didn't want to go out with him, because I already knew I was pregnant."

Niles squeezed her hand.

"He said he would visit you soon", Maxwell said. "So I engaged a cop."

CC sat up in her hospital bed. "A cop? Are you crazy, Maxwell?"

"He didn't want to", Niles said. "I insisted to engage a cop. I don't want you to be in danger. So ... this is Sergeant Christian Novak."

Sergeant Novak entered the room. He was tall, good looking and, first of all, strong looking. "Don't worry, Mrs. Babcock, I will take care of you", he promised with a deep voice.

Niles smiled as the sergeant said "Mrs. Babcock" and CC did as well.

"I'm game", she said and winked at Niles. "Thank you for engaging him, _Mr. Babcock._"

Niles leaned down and kissed her. "I have to go but I will come back. I love you."

"Love you too", CC said and Niles and Maxwell left the room, leaving Sergeant Novak back.

"May I sit down on this chair?", he asked her.

CC shrugged. "Sure", she said shyly. She couldn't deny she had lots of respect of that tall man. And he was so good looking ... CC almost wondered why he didn't turn her on.

_Because you love Niles_, she told herselft.

"You already know the sex of your child?"

"Seargeant -"

"Call me Chris."

"Eh, Chris", CC raised a brow. "I don't want to be unfriendly, but this is not your job ..."

"Who knows when this Chandler Evans is about to show up, if he is guilty anyway. We are probably going to spend lots of time together."

CC sighted and switched on her laptop. "Yes, Dr. Timothy made the test yesterday", she answered while she scrolled through her blog, searching for the drafts she saved a few days and weeks ago. Where were them? "It's going to be a boy ...", she said absently.

* * *

Chandler visited her the very same day, when the sergeant rested in the bed next to her, in plain clothes, of course.

When he entered, CC let out a shocked "Chandler!", and Chris winced to show her, he was awake.

"CC", Chandler said breathless. "I - I brought you flowers ..."

He handed her a dozen red roses.

"Thank you ...", CC whispered and took them.

_I bet, you bought them to put them on my grave ..._

"I thought you had a lonely room", Chandler said and looked at Chis, who still had his eyes closed. "CC Babcock and a roommate? Is that possible?"

"I had", CC answered nervously, when Chandler came nearer. "He - he will just be here to - today. Don't worry, he's in co - coma ..."

"Are you okay?", Chandler asked.

"No, Chandler, to be honest, I'm not!", CC said with a high pitched voice. "Do you know, what happened to me?"

"No", Chandler said dryly.

_Liar!_

"I got raped, Chandler. I got raped - and I'm pregnant."

CC had the reaction she wanted from him - he got pale.

"Pregnant? From the - from the raper?"

"No, I already was pregnant when he kidnapped me and did this to me. The doctors said it could be possible for the baby to have permanent damages ... like schizophrenia for example."

"I never wanted that ...", Chandler said shocked.

_Perfect, CC. Go on._

"It's not your fault", CC said. "It's mine. You're such a nice guy and I refused to go out with you. You have to understand, I had a boyfriend." CC absently stroked her belly. "We were so happy when I got pregnant, but we couldn't tell anyone. He is not wealthy, you know, that's why I refused to go out with you with no reason." CC sighted. "He left me a few days ago, when he got told, I've got raped. He was ashamed. Now I am pregnant, hurt and alone!" CC let out a fake sob, but Chandler believed her.

"I'm so sorry, CC", he said. "Please forgive me. I didn't know you had a boyfriend and I didn't know you were pregnant. I thought you hated me, but I wanted you, so I had no choice!"

"What are you talking about -?"

"_I _kidnapped you!", he said and broke together next to her. "And I swear, I will do everything for you, I will support you, if your baby really has schizophrenia ..."

"Oh my god", CC said. "Why didn't you kill me afterwards?"

"I told a friend to do so, but it failed", Chandler said. "CC, believe me, I didn't know -"

"Okay, okay, I believe you, calm down", CC said. "But Chris will put you in jail anyway."

"Huh?", Chandler said, but Chris was already at his feet.

Quickly he grabbed Chandler and put handcuffs on him. "Well, thanks for the confession, Mister Evans", he said. "You have the right to hush now."

"Thank you, Chris!", CC said weakly.

"It had been a pleasure, Mrs. Babcock", Chris smiled at her. "We'll see each other again, I guess. Mr. Evans here has already told you, he'll support you, if your son is going to have schizophrenia." He winked.

CC laughed. "The doctor never said something like this. My son is going to be fine."

Chris laughed and led Chandler outside.

_The worst he could going to be ... a annoying blonde boy with a foolish grin and shiny blue eyes, dusting the whole house_, CC thought, immediately picturing an older herself, laughing about the image of a man and a boy, who was exactely looking the same as him, running around and playing in a big garden.

The older Niles let the young boy win and when the boy placed himself on the grass to take a breath, he came over to her.

"Already enough, Butler Boy?", the older CC said, smirking.

Older Niles placed a kiss on her cheek. "I'll never get enough of you and him, Babs. I love you."

"I love you too, Niles. Thanks for loving such a witch like me."

Back in the present, CC stroked her belly and smiled.

"I love you, baby", she told the fetus. "I know I didn't thought so at the beginning ... but I think, my destiny knew about this hidden love of me. I just can't find the suicidal promises ... but maybe that's better. Or what do you think, Niles Junior?"

Niles stood ouside.

He had seen how the sergeant led Chandler out of CC's room.

As he wanted to enter, he had heard her talking to their baby, and had stopped.

"I hope you'll be like your father", CC said. "I'd be so proud of you."

Niles felt tears in his eyes and he stepped into her room.

"Niles!", CC said happily. "It's over! Chandler confessed - sweetheart?"

Niles sat down on the floor next to the bed and buried his face into her chest. "I'm so happy you're save", he said, letting the tears flow. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay", CC said and lifted his face up so she could look at him. "I love you", she said. "And I'm happy you got me pregnant" She winked. "Now we have a reason to be together."

"I should have told you my feelings right after we made love", Niles said.

"I also didn't", CC said. "I ran away. And then I made the blog to share my feelings for the biggest idiot of the world with the internet. What brings me to my question, did you recently switched my laptop on ...?"

Niles told her everything and after he had finished, CC kissed him. "Thank you", she said. "You saved my life with your urge of making a fool out of me ... I really hope our son is going to be like you."

"So it's going to be a boy", Niles said proudly and laid his lips on her belly. "Hey, son", he said. "I wanted to tell you, that I love you. I told your Mommy a little late, so I'll tell you soon enough. Listen, boy, your Mommy wants you to be like me ... so make sure to annoy her as long as you can." He chuckled and moved back to CC to kiss her.

He still had tears of happiness in her eyes, and so she had as well.

THE END


End file.
